I went on a spot of foot patrol around town and returned to find these sandals in this position outside the police station. Without wishing to cause global panic it is self evident that somebody has tried to call for police assistance but been abducted by an invasion force of aliens. Like I say, please don’t panic. I have checked our system for abandoned calls from Scilly or mysterious UFO’s over this part of the Atlantic and there are none.
I have left the sandals where they are in the event our eminently gracious green lizard overlord invaders beam back their specimen to be amongst us again. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted Police Sergeant I may be useful to their superior intellect in rounding up others to toil in their underground kryptonite mines.
If there is a more innocent or obvious explanation I can’t think what it may be.
Oh and I also have a key with an anchor on it which looks to be simply lost property.
Sgt Colin Taylor (Yeh I know partly lifted from Simpsons but if it keeps me alive I’d even quote Teletubbies)