I am a few police cones short of a promising career. It is looking touch and go for us having enough to mark out a convincing No Parking zone, for the Royal visit today. In hopeful anticipation of surviving this crisis with my job intact I have a plan. It consists of two elements.1. Please do not park adjacent to Holgates green this morning. No nonchalantly nudging apart the sparsely separated bollards with your bumpers just to make a cars length to squeeze into. More highly polished cars than any of ours will be using those spaces for a short period today.
2. Running alongside my heartfelt plea I propose a Cone Amnesty. If you have “borrowed” any for “projects” please can we have them back. Typically they may be found lurking in garages, gardens, teenagers bedrooms, and Methodist Church Hall car parks. If they come back within the fortnight we will spare you even the Paddington Bear stare. We can also play along if you want to maintain that you have just found them.
If you do locate any, let us know or bring them to the Police Station where I may or may not be still working.
Sgt Colin Taylor