Special Offer

Cell Doors 

Free to collect. One careful owner.They are quarter of a century old in virtually pristine condition.

Would suit teenagers bedroom or former detainee nostalgic for the old days.
Our old, heavy, steel cell doors are being skipped and replaced. We are fully renovating the two cells at St Mary’s Police Station. Bringing them up to modern standards for the safety and comfort of the hoards who may want to use them.
At Isles of Scilly Police Department (IOSPD) we are hugely excited at the prospect of showing our first official guest around the new accommodation. There are two single rooms. Each with an ensuite toilet *. They include a bed, well hard shelf actually but if you are chilly we will throw in a blanket. CCTV in both rooms to be watched by because when you are with us you get our undivided attention. An intercom to the Concierge at the Custody desk. On request it will be their pleasure to provide a plastic cup with what some people call tea, a book about the law with no pictures and access to a human called a Solicitor (Lawyer if you have watched too much American Cop TV).
Some people just have to be the First and at IOSPD we understand that. That why we have a special offer to help you jump the queue. The following people take precedence. Drink drivers, people who assault their partners or children, thieves and an infinity of other alleged offenders. There is sometimes a small Charge or perhaps a word of Caution for our services. Any takers?
Dial 999 or 101 if you want to make a booking for someone not so dear to you. 
 
*Toilet paper provided on request.

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About scillysergeant

I'm the longest serving police officer on the Isles of Scilly for a generation currently the Police Sergeant for the Archipelago
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One Response to Special Offer

  1. Perhaps these are ended at The Mermaid for lock ins? 😮

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